Adoption Update

I have had a lot of questions over the past few days about our adoption journey so I thought I would try and answer some of them.

First, we are continuing our adoption plan to bring home our daughter. As we all know we have hit some pretty big road blocks and even had a wrecking ball crash on our parade. This adoption process has tested us so much- financially, emotionally and physically and we won't give up. Our new plan is to adopt domestic, within the United States. The process is a little different than International but we both feel comfortable with the differences. A few of the biggest differences are:

1. The birthmother/family chooses the Family she wishes to place her baby with.

2. The birthmother/family has up to 72 hours to change her mind after the birth of the child. So, it is possible we will travel to a state and come home without a baby. This only happens in 10% of the cases. Honestly, with our luck, I'm almost expecting it :). Just joking.

3. There are 3 different types of adoption: Closed, Semi-Open, and Opened. Closed is where there is no information exchanged, never meet before or after birth, nothing... no contact. Semi-Open means only non-identifiable information will be exchanged, example first names only. You have the opportunity to talk and/or meet the birthmother/family before and/or after birth and you will provide letters and pictures to the agency to forward to the birthmother/family. Open, is just that, all identifiable information is known and contact can be regular. We have chose a Semi-Open adoption plan. We chose Semi-Open for several reason. We would love to be able to talk to our daughter's birthmother/family as much as we can before and right after birth. The more information we have to share with our daughter about her birthmother/family the better. Talking and meeting the birthmother/family builds trust and she will less likely change her mind. We feel it is important to communicate through the agency about milestones, accomplishments and achievements. We want to express to the birthmother/family she made the right decision for her daughter and she is happy, thriving and loved by her adopted family.

4. The average wait is 1-9 months, but could be a little longer since we are only open to a female child. A lot of birthmother's don't find out the sex of the baby because they could start to bond with the child.

5. The biggest misunderstanding about birthmothers/families is they use drugs, drink, and live off welfare, etc. This is what we thought and we were wrong. The typically birthmother is between the ages of 14-35, and wants the best for their child. Yes, there are always those birthmothers that are high risk and chose not to make the best decision. But as the adopted family we can choose if we are open to birthmother's with a history of drugs and/or alcohol exposure. Back to the welfare... if these women were welfare cases, they would keep the baby, receive free daycare, and receive more money from the government to support their habits.

6. There are two different situations we could get into- Matched or Pop-up. Matched is where the birthmother/family selects your family to adopt the child during her last trimester, you have an estimated due date and can start making travel plans. A Pop-up is where the child is already born and you receive the call and you travel immediately.


Sorry to write a book, if you have specific questions I didn't answer you are welcome to post the question in the comments and I will be happy to answer them.